


In Which a Wizard Spends The Day as a Cat

by bobblemonkey2



Category: Howl Series - Diana Wynne Jones, Howl no Ugoku Shiro | Howl's Moving Castle, Howl's Moving Castle - All Media Types
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Family Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:26:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24839143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobblemonkey2/pseuds/bobblemonkey2
Summary: Howl thinks his life was harder as a genie. Sophie thinks her life was harder as a cat. There’s only one way to find out who’s right.
Relationships: Calcifer & Sophie Hatter & Howl Pendragon, Michael Fisher/Martha Hatter, Sophie Hatter/Howl Pendragon
Comments: 2
Kudos: 61





	In Which a Wizard Spends The Day as a Cat

**Author's Note:**

> Little one shot that takes place immediately after book 2.  
> All characters (aside from my OCs) belong to Diana Wynne Jones.

‘It’s so nice to finally be out of that bottle!’ Howl let out a sigh of relief as he sat down to breakfast that morning. It was only a day since he’d been free of the djinn’s curse and he’d rather forgotten what it was like to have freedom. ‘You and Morgan definitely got the better deal being cats. No need to thank me by the way.’

Sophie looked up from the floor where she was playing with their son. ‘The better deal?’ She said with rising annoyance, though conscious of not wanting to raise her voice lest she scared Morgan. ‘You do realise I had to give birth to our child while I was a cat! Do you know how painful that was? Not to mention I was all alone in a cave at the time while you were off galavanting granting wishes!’

Woops, thought Howl, he hadn’t meant to start a fight, much less on his first day back in wedded bliss. Well, he may as well defend himself now. ‘It’s not like I was having fun - that bottle was extremely cramped you know.’

‘Oh my, you didn’t say anything about it being cramped!’ Sophie replied sarcastically. ‘How difficult that must have been for you, feeling slightly uncomfortable.’ She went back to cooing over Morgan - she wasn’t used to this style of parenting, licking and feeding occasionally were much more up her street.

‘At least you had the freedom to walk around wherever you wanted.’ Howl tutted, not giving up that easily.

‘It’s not like I could even get anywhere on my own! Need I remind you that your spell left me in the middle of nowhere? Had it not been for Abdullah and Justin I don’t know what I would have done.’ Sophie instinctively brought a hand to her mouth, as if to lick it, before reminding herself that she was no longer a cat.

‘Well I’m sorry about that dear, but you really gave me no other option.’

Calcifer, who had been quietly observing the pair from his fireplace, decided to speak up. ‘You guys had it easy. You know how many people sat on me?’ He crackled, but Sophie’s annoyance remained firmly directed at her husband.

‘You know what, if you think life as a cat is so easy why don’t you try it for a day?’ She picked up Morgan and cooed in his face, ‘Wouldn’t that be funny, seeing your father as a little kitty!’ Morgan giggled, as if in agreement.

‘No, no, no! I’m not spending my first day out of that damned bottle as a cat! Besides, I’m busy.’ Howl protested.

‘What could possibly be busying you today?’ She stood up, Morgan curled up in her arms waiting for the show to ensue. ‘Princess Valeria has been returned to the palace, there’s no war on the cards, and I’m sure Ben wasn’t expecting back as Royal Wizard just yet - after all, it is your first day out of the bottle as you keep saying.’ An excitable smirk developed on Sophie’s lips as she edged closer to her husband. Calcifer moved out of his grate, readying himself in a better viewing position to see Howl being given a feline makeover.

‘Alright I concede! Your life as a cat was worse than mine as a genie!’ He screamed, but it was too late.

Sophie touched his shoulder. ‘I think you ought to be a cat for the day!’

Howl shrunk down, falling onto his arms and legs (now four legs) which were covered in golden fur, a tail in between the back two. He looked up at Sophie, Morgan, and Calcifer who were all peering down at him in delight, and he noticed a pair of long whiskers through the corner of his eyes. There was no mistaking what he was now.

‘Don’t look so glum, Howl. You make a rather pretty cat - doesn’t daddy look pretty?’ She tickled Morgan’s chin and he giggled, once again in agreement. 

‘I’ve never seen a blonde cat before,’ said Calcifer. ‘But then I haven’t seen many cats.’

Cat Howl inspected himself with remarkable ability - he felt rather flexible as a feline and wondered what Sophie was complaining about before.

‘Play with your father!’ Sophie said as she placed Morgan on the ground, who held his arms out to his new pet trying to grab him. Howl jumped back, worried his own son would crush him with his seemingly gigantic hands. He hissed, and Morgan pulled his arms back, remembering from his own cat days that this was not a good sound.

‘Stop whining Howl! I’m not changing you back until you’ve spent a whole day like that.’

At that moment, the door swung open revealing a rather-loved up looking Michael and Martha walking arm in arm. Michael had left early that morning to meet Martha, as she had planned to spend her day off performing auntly duties while Sophie worked at the flower shop. Sophie wondered why anyone would want to spend their day off babysitting, but then she supposed it was good practice for the ten children Martha was planning to have. 

‘Who’s the cat?’ Michael peered down at the furry creature curiously. ‘And where’s Howl?’

Sophie snorted. ‘Oh!’ Michael exclaimed, putting two-and-two together.

‘Is it a spell? Sophie can you break it?’ Martha worriedly chimed in.

‘Who do you think put it on him?’ Calcifer interjected as Sophie snorted once more.

‘He’s spending a day in my shoes,’ she explained. ‘Well, paws.’

Sophie made her way to the door where Martha and Michael were still standing dumbstruck. ‘Thank you two for looking after Morgan today, I’m sure he’ll be no trouble.’ Sophie glanced back. ‘Come on, Howl, you can help me in the shop.’

———-

As Sophie expected, Cat Howl wasn’t much help - he lacked the opposable thumbs to be able to collect flowers, and the artistic eye to figure out what colours went together. Instead he opted for just sitting on the counter, puffing out his chest and showing off his golden fur with pride. He would be better suited as a peacock, Sophie thought. A number of customers commented on the new feline edition to the shop.

‘What a pretty kitty! I’ve never seen a cat with such a beautiful coat!’ Exclaimed Mrs Flintwhistle as she entered the shop, immediately running over to pet Howl. Howl rubbed his head against her hand and purred. He was loving this. Sophie began to regret turning him into a cat in the first place. ‘What’s her name?’ The lady asked. Howl let out a loud meow in protest of being misgendered. He looked at Sophie, waiting for her to correct the mistake.

‘Her name is Whiskers, I’m just looking after her for the day. She is gorgeous isn’t she?’ Sophie replied saccharinely much to Howl’s annoyance.

More of the day passed and Howl soon got tired of the compliments and gender confusion, especially when he realised he would be expected to catch his own meals.

‘When I was a cat I had to hunt for myself and Morgan - I expect you to do the same.’ Sophie said proudly while unwrapping her cheese sandwich. Cat Howl licked at his furry mouth, almost drooling at the thought of food - he was so hungry, surely Sophie wouldn’t be so cruel? He pawed at her lunch, though careful not to scratch her.

‘Keep your hands - ahem, paws,’ she corrected herself, ‘off my sandwich. Go catch a mouse!’ She bit into the bread.

After an hour or so of trying to find something to eat, Howl gave up, instead settling for a few stray leaves, which were unpleasant to say the least. He had just about had enough, so made his way to the door back to the castle, clawing at it in an effort to get it open.

‘Cats can’t open doors, Howl. You’ll just have to wait until I’m finished.’

He hissed and made his way back to the counter beside Sophie, slumping down into a glum mound. Besides the extra fuss he was receiving, Howl found that he would rather be the genie again. At least he could talk then, even if the bottle was a little cosy for his liking. He nudged his head against Sophie’s arms, purring to convey an apology, and a plea to be turned back human.

‘Had a change of heart, have you?’ Sophie said. He meowed. ‘Well I did say you had to spend the whole day as a cat.’ Hiss.

Utterly done with being a cat, Howl attempted to break the enchantment himself, struggling against the strength of Sophie’s magic which had increased since being back in human form. He managed to get part free of it, but unfortunately only the head part, which now protruded from his feline body in a gross hybrid.

‘Sophie! Please change me back! You’ve made your point!’ Howl whined.

‘Howl you look grotesque like that.’ She was reminded of Percival the dog’s own struggles against his spell.

‘You flatter me. Please cariad, being a cat is truly rubbish. I can’t do anything except meow and hiss, and even the compliments are getting old now.’ 

Sophie was surprised that such a vain wizard could ever get tired of compliments - he must have truly loathed his feline form. She wasn’t giving in though, not until he said those three magic words.

‘Come on, Sophie!’

The bell rang indicating a new customer - a young girl had walked in on Sophie arguing with half-human-half-cat Howl. She screamed at the sight and dashed out of the shop in an instant.

‘See, you’ll lose customers if you keep me like this. I admit it, life as a cat is worse than being stuck in a bottle. I can only imagine what it was like being alone and pregnant on a mountain like this - it’s hard enough in the shop.’ He pleaded.

‘So, what are you saying?’ She replied coyly, still waiting for the words.

‘I’m saying...’ he trailed off, he hated losing argument but Sophie was making it very difficult to win. ‘You were right.’

With that she removed the spell, transforming him back into his usual self, if not a little ruffled from all the fussing from customers. He looked down as if in disbelief that he had his normal body back. ‘Thank god!’ He cried in relief. ‘I’m sorry, cariad. I’m a selfish old fool.’ He wrapped his arms around her, thankful that he had arms to do so.

Sophie chuckled as she nestled into him. ‘At least I didn’t make you give birth. Now that I would like to see.’


End file.
